Have you ever asked yourself the question, “Is this all there is to life?” or its sister “Surely, there must be more to life…!?”
These are questions many of my 1-1 clients ask when we’re doing a Discovery Call to find out whether we’re a good fit to work together. The questions point to a need to move beyond setting and achieving goals to creating a more meaningful and fulfilling life.
I found myself asking the same question in an impromptu conversation with one of my clients last week. She’s a young, robust, forward-thinking, and highly successful executive who has achieved amazing milestones in her life and career.
We had to cancel our coaching session last week because she was sick and so we were just catching up during this call.
She had travelled out of the country, came back feeling unwell, got really sick as soon as she got home, and ended up being admitted to hospital for 3 days immediately after.
Coincidentally, when we cancelled our session, I too was recovering from a nasty bout of food poisoning that had me and my son flat out for 5 days. So health and wellness took up a big chunk of this conversation with my client.
As we spoke, the question of goals came up. Not in the sense of setting and achieving goals, but as a question about who are being even as we work towards our goals.
I’ve coached high achievers for over 11 years, and one thing I know is that achieving goals is not something they take lightly. For them, it’s more of do-or-die trying!
There are also times when I’ve had to force some of my clients to take time off for themselves and to implement a daily self-care regime that does not include anyone else.
This is more so for those who are mothers because many working mums burn the candle at both ends trying to be superwomen and supermums!
While I am a big believer in setting goals and going for them full-blast, I have also come to appreciate the power of slowing down and just being.
More Being, Less Doing
In July last year, one of my coaching clients taught me a process she called 40 Days of Being which is all about practicing the art of Being.
She did not seek to create this process consciously. It came up as an AHA during a totally unrelated coaching session, and within no time, she had mapped out a process that she could use to do less and be more over the next 40 days.
It’s actually very simple and I think of it as taking a retreat while still being present in your real world on a day-to-day basis.
While I can’t share the process in its entirety here, my client has given me permission to share how I am using it to be more and do less.
- For me, I take a break from scheduling my days and only create plans for what is absolutely necessary to keep things moving.
- Then each day, I keep my to-do list simple – just what is necessary – and spend a lot of time in silence, reflection, contemplation, and meditation.
- There is also no pomp and fanfare at the end of 40 days. But you will have your way forward and a strong sense of well-being and purpose.
Best of all, this is one of the most fulfilling things you will have done in the year. That alone is enough reason to try it!
When I did this exercise last year, I journaled actively in the morning and before bedtime. I also carried my journal everywhere because I got ideas during the day.
I’m just about to finish this year’s 40 Days of Being this week. Unlike last year, this year I haven’t journaled twice a day, but I have written down insights as they came through.
Sometimes the insights have come during coaching sessions. Other times, they have ended up as voice notes in my WhatsApp groups.
I’m also looking forward to what will come through as I complete this year’s exercise.
Over to You…
A lot is happening all around us this year and it’s possible to feel stressed and overwhelmed. It’s also possible to start wondering why you’re working so hard and whether there is any meaning to your goals or to the life you are creating.
Additionally, the political and economic crises locally and internationally may increase your levels of stress and make you want to do or try more things out of fear of loss, or fear of a negative economic downturn.
I invite you to take a step back and become more of a human being as opposed to a human doing.
Days come and go. Dreams come and go. Goals too come and go. Your life needs to be more than the days, dreams, and goals that have come and gone, and those that you are waiting for.
Your life has to include living fully in the present moment and day even as you look forward to the things you aim to achieve.
If you have ever asked yourself any of these two questions that I started with today:
- “Is this all there is to life?”
- “Surely, there must be more to life…!?”
- …or if you feel that all you do with your life is just do, do, do…and you feel you need a different pace…
Then I invite you to try to slow down and take a beingness retreat. Take it even as you live your regular life. And you’re free to borrow the 40 Days of Being process if you need something to start with.
You don’t have to do 40 days, even 7 days is good enough.
You also don’t have to plan for it. Just start and commit to completing it within the time you have set for yourself.
Try it, and let life surprise you during this time of being more and doing less.
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(Image credit: Unsplash)
