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Have you ever finished a workday and wondered, “Why am I this exhausted? I didn’t even do that much today.”

There are many reasons you can feel exhausted. Sometimes you’re actually doing too much. Sometimes you’re not getting enough rest. It could also be that you’re going through a demanding season, or something is happening in your life that requires more from you than usual. 

But there’s another possibility we don’t always consider. There are times when the problem isn’t how much you’re doing. It’s where your energy is going.

We tend to notice the obvious energy drains: a demanding project, a difficult colleague, a long day of meetings, or a schedule so packed that there is no breathing space between one thing and the next. 

But some of the biggest drains are subtler and, because they have become part of our normal routine, we don’t always recognise them as drains.

Think about:

• Responsibilities you automatically take on. 
• The yeses you give when you don’t have the capacity.
• What you keep thinking about long after the workday is over. 
• Meetings you attend even though you don’t really have to be there. 
• Problems you solve for other people because it’s easier to just do it yourself. 

Individually, none of these things may seem significant. But they add up. Over time, they become hidden energy drains that deplete without you understanding why.

Where Is Your Energy Going?

We tend to be much better at managing our time than managing our energy.

We put things into our calendars, make to-do lists, organise our schedules, and look for ways to become more productive and efficient.

But productivity and efficiency don’t solve the problem if you’re spending your energy on things that continually drain you.

That’s why conducting regular Energy Audits is important.

Instead of only asking yourself, “How much am I doing?”, ask:

“Where is my energy actually going?”

Start with the obvious things. What people, responsibilities, tasks, meetings, situations, or spaces consistently leave you feeling drained?

Then look at the less obvious ones. 

• What are you carrying mentally at the end of the day? 
• What are you saying yes to when you don’t have the capacity? 
• Whose problems have become your problems (personally and at work)? 
• Where are you taking responsibility simply because you’re more capable of handling it?

And most importantly:

What is yours to carry, and what have you taken on that isn’t your load?

That question can reveal a lot.

But an Energy Audit isn’t only about finding things to eliminate. If you stop there, you end up with a life organised entirely around avoiding depletion.

That’s only half the picture.

Who and What Energises You?

It’s also important to identify your energy boosters.

Think about the people, activities, environments and experiences that leave you feeling restored, energised, or more like yourself.

For some people, that might be a walk, exercise, music, good food, quiet time, sitting in the sun, reading, getting a massage, or having a conversation with someone they love.

For someone else, it might be learning something new, working on a project they care about, having a stimulating conversation, or spending time with people who challenge and encourage them.

One thing I’ve come to appreciate about energy boosters is that they aren’t always about resting or doing less. Sometimes the right people, conversations, and spaces can give something back to us.

For example, in July, I set an intention to create or be in spaces where growth is inevitable. It wasn’t a goal I needed to achieve. It was simply an intention about the kinds of spaces I wanted to spend my time and energy in.

Then I found myself in one of those spaces.

I wasn’t the expert in the room. Instead of feeling diminished by that, I found it energising. I could listen, learn, contribute, and receive from people who know things I don’t.

I left that meeting feeling expanded rather than depleted, despite having had a very busy day before the meeting.

This reminded me that not everything that requires energy is an energy drainer. 

• Some things require effort and still give you something back. 
• Some conversations stretch you and leave you feeling more alive.
• There are spaces that challenge you because you are not the expert in that space (or you’re not the only expert).
• And sometimes, choosing a different environment can change how you feel without changing everything else about your life.

The Difference Between Effort and Depletion

This is an important distinction because we can easily assume that anything that requires effort is draining.

It isn’t.

Parenting can be exhausting and deeply fulfilling. Building a business can require enormous effort and still energise you. Learning something difficult can leave you tired but satisfied. Having a challenging conversation can take a lot out of you while also giving you a sense of relief or growth.

The better question isn’t simply, “How much energy does this require?”

It’s also:

“What does this give back to me?”

There are things you do that consume energy without giving much back. There are things that consume energy but give you meaning, connection, growth, or satisfaction in return. And there are things that replenish you almost immediately.

Understanding the difference can help you make better choices about where your limited energy goes.

Try an Energy Audit of Your Own

You don’t have to redesign your life to begin. A simple energy audit will clarify your current energy drainers and boosters.

Here’s an energy audit you can complete in 10-15 minutes.

First, take a few minutes and look at a typical week. 

Second, write down the people, responsibilities, activities, environments and recurring thoughts that take up your energy.

Third, divide them into two broad categories:

1. Energy Drainers: What consistently leaves you feeling depleted, frustrated, resentful, overwhelmed or disconnected from yourself?
   
2. Energy Boosters: What leaves you feeling restored, energised, connected, curious, motivated or more like yourself?

Fourth, ask yourself a few more questions:

• What am I carrying that isn’t mine?
• Where am I saying yes when I don’t really have the capacity?
• Which responsibilities have I taken on simply because I’m more capable of handling them?
• Which conversations or situations continue draining my energy even after they are over?
• What gives me energy that I have gradually stopped making time for?
• Which people and spaces leave me feeling energised?

Fifth, choose your next small steps with two questions:

1. Where could I make one small change that would reduce an energy drain?
2. What is one energy booster I could deliberately bring back into my life?

Finally, take action on the answers to these two questions. Immediately and consistently. Keep the answers at the front of your mind. Schedule them in your calendar or set alarms on your phone if you must. Make them a priority.

Don’t turn this into another project you have to do perfectly.

You don’t have to eliminate every energy drainer. Some responsibilities are unavoidable, some difficult people are part of our lives, and some seasons simply require more from us.

The point is to notice.

Because once you notice where your energy is going, you have more choice about what you do with it.

Your Energy Is Worth Paying Attention To

We often think about energy only in terms of protecting it. We work on avoiding the people who drain us, saying no more often, setting better boundaries, and taking a break when we’re exhausted.

All of those things matter, but they’re only part of the picture.

Energy isn’t just something you protect. It’s something you spend, replenish, and invest in daily.

Where you spend it matters. What replenishes it matters. And what you invest it in matters too.

You can spend your energy solving everyone else’s problems, sitting in meetings that don’t require you, carrying responsibilities that aren’t yours, and thinking about work long after the workday is over.

Or you can become more deliberate about what deserves your energy, what gives something back to you, and which people, conversations and spaces help you grow.

But, as I said earlier, that doesn’t mean eliminating everything that is difficult or demanding. Some of the things that require the most from us can also be deeply energising because they matter to us.

So the question isn’t simply:

“How do I protect my energy?”

It’s also:

“Is the way I’m spending, replenishing, and investing my energy helping me live the life I want to live?”

That is a question worth asking from time to time. 

An Energy Audit can confirm what you already know. You discover that you’ve been carrying too much, giving your energy in spaces or to people who no longer deserve that much of you, or neglecting the people, spaces and activities that restore and expand you.

It can also reveal things you hadn’t noticed before.

Either way, awareness gives you somewhere to begin. And once you complete the audit, you have simple steps that get you started on reclaiming your energy and investing it in the right places.

I’d also love to hear from you.

What is one thing that drains your energy that you hadn’t previously recognised as an energy drainer?

And:

What is one thing that consistently energises you back that you want to create more space for?

Share your thoughts in the comments. Your answer might help someone else notice or improve something in their own life.

Ready to Go Deeper?

Your energy is connected to much more than your schedule.

The 28 Days of Loving Yourself Challenge (28DC) is a 28-day journey designed to help you slow down, reconnect with yourself and create space for what matters.

Across the four weeks, we explore:

Week 1: Declutter Your Life: Learn how to clear the physical, digital, mental and emotional clutter that weighs you down.

Week 2: Love and Kindness: Rediscover self-love, self-care, and self-compassion, and what it means to make yourself a priority when you strengthen your boundaries.

Week 3: Passion, Energy and Commitment: Explore what energises you, what you’re passionate about, and where you’re choosing to direct your commitment.

Week 4: Focus: Create a clearer vision for what you want your life, career or business to look and feel like, and stay focused on what matters. You walk away with a 90-day action plan that you start implementing immediately. 

The goal of 28DC isn’t to give you another 28-day programme to complete and then forget. It’s to help you develop a way of prioritising and caring for yourself that you can continue using long after the Challenge ends.

If this Energy Audit has made you curious about where your energy is going and what you want to change, 28DC is a good place to solidify prioritising yourself and what matters most to you.

LEARN MORE ABOUT 28DC →

(Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com M on Unsplash) 

A note about your health:

This article is about everyday energy management and is not intended to diagnose, treat or replace professional medical or mental health advice. Persistent, severe, unexplained, or worsening fatigue can have many causes. If you’re concerned about your energy levels or how you’re feeling, please speak with an appropriately qualified healthcare or mental health professional.