In last week’s blog post, I talked a little about my fears as the Gen Zs in Kenya held demonstrations to protest the Finance Bill, corruption, and blatant waste of resources by politicians.
Today, I’d like to share how things unfolded in my home and the lessons learned.
Here goes…
The fight for rights didn’t start now
My parents are in their 80s, and I grew up listening to their stories about the Mau Mau and emergency times. They still tell the stories, and the grandkids love them!
One of the stories that always captivates me is the fact that parents deliberately put their children in danger to gather information or take supplies to the Mau Mau fighters.
For example, my dad was less than 10 years old and he used to sell chameleons to the Wazungu (White people). He still wonders to date why the chameleons were in such high demand!
What the Wazungu didn’t know was that this little boy used to gather intelligence and take it back to his mum. Then his mum would find a way to share the information with the Mau Mau who were hidden in the forests.
Fear didn’t hold the parents back
All this happened during a time when women and children were put in village camps and were not allowed out at night.
I’m sure the parents were deeply afraid, especially given the brutality the Wazungu would respond with.
People knew how risky these activities were, but the thought and goal of freedom was bigger than anyone’s fears. It was even bigger than putting their lives and the lives of their children at risk.
We’re having to let go of our children today
On Monday 17th June, my elder son approached me with a request: He wanted to participate in a peaceful demonstration (maandamano) in Mombasa. He and his friends planned to meet and participate in the march with other youth.
These demonstrations were being held all over Kenya by Gen Zs who were protesting the Kenya Finance Bill for the year 2023/2024. That Bill had a lot of punitive measures that would make like expensive for all.
We were already grappling with excessive taxes and misuse of resources by the government and politicians. So this bill was the straw that broke the camel’s back!
My immediate and instinctive response was a firm ‘No!’
Then I pointed out the following:
- They could get beaten by police and possibly maimed or killed.
- He could get arrested and this would mess him up if he ever needed a Certificate of Good Conduct.
- They don’t know how to deal with the police.
- What was he fighting for given that he is taken care of at home? After all, he’s not paying taxes, buying food, or paying bills.
- And much more…I was on a roll!
His response to this was that I learned how to demonstrate when I was in college. So he and his agemates will learn by going out…it’s their time.
Still fearful of potential consequences, I made it clear I wouldn’t visit him in hospital or jail. I can only call it having a “Mum guilting you!” moment!
Ultimately, he chose not to go, but his friends did, leading to heated discussions with their parents that evening.
I let my fear stand in the way of someone else’s courage.
Reflecting on this later, I realized I had done him a disservice by letting my fears dictate my response. I also realized that I needed to give him space to learn and grow independently, while providing support and guidance.
Wednesday morning dawned with the unsettling realization that my fears had stifled his courage. Thus, I denied him the opportunity to participate in a historic moment where youth stood up for their country.
We had a family meeting later that day and I apologized for my reaction. Then I gave him permission to attend the demonstrations whenever he wanted to.
Choosing to let go, despite my fears
That evening, as we stood on the eve of the demos, I made what was, without doubt, the toughest decision I have ever had to make as a mother.
I was very scared…and I still am when I think of the maandamano ever coming up again.
Then came another dilemma…
I am a single mum of 2, and my younger son could not join in the maandamano. As we talked about it, I asked myself, “How can I stay home and my child is out there fighting for me and for our country?”
So we had to have a tough and painful discussion about whether or not I could join the demonstrations.
But, if I chose to go and something happened to one or both of us, what would my younger child do?
That was a question asked by my younger son.
The consensus was that I stay home and release my older child to go with my blessing.
These are tough decisions no parent would want to make
My son went for the demonstration that week on Thursday and so did my 2 nephews who were in a different town. It was a tough day and I don’t think I breathed fully until they all got home safely.
I am at peace with my decision not to go for the demos, and also with the decision to let go of my fears and allow my son to go. I’m still afraid and I know that nothing will ease the fear until we are done with this season.
However, I continue to choose not to let my fears stand in the way of someone else’s courage. And I continue to pray for our country and for these youth who have redefined politics and political leadership in Kenya.
And while I may not go for the maandamano, I choose to use the power of words here and on social media to support these oh-so-brave demonstrators!
Beyond demonstrations and fear
Sadly, the government and police reacted negatively as the demonstrations continued, leading to fatalities and injuries. It’s been painful watching events unfold and the almost callous way some politicians have responded.
As a friend said, “We’re being forced to be real in a way that we had never thought of before.” as we let go of our children despite our fears.
When all is said and done, I think that our Mau Mau ancestors would have been so proud of Gen Z. And they would be so disappointed with Gen X and Baby Boomers who have accepted the status quo for so many years!
One good thing about this is that the wind of change has swept through our nation. It’s no longer possible to ignore the challenges we face as a nation.
And best of all, the courage that led the youth to the streets has woken up the older generations. Changes are swift and we are seeing a renaissance in our country.
My note to self is that it’s OK to be afraid, but not to allow my fears to take charge.
I have let go and commit to stepping back and empowering my children to make their own decisions, even when it’s difficult and scary for me to do so.
I will feel the fear, but will not let my fears hinder others’ courage, even when that person is my child.
This experience also made me think of other parents who may have grappled with similar dilemmas.
Perhaps you’ve questioned whether such actions are fitting for you or your children. Not because you oppose the cause, but because they don’t align with your beliefs and values. I mean, let’s admit it, we do tend to associate demonstrations with politicians and idle people…
I also understand the challenge of balancing personal convictions with societal expectations. In my work, I also see firsthand the struggles of shedding the shackles of criticism and fear of societal judgment.
I’m privileged to engage in conversations with remarkable women who navigate these dilemmas daily & will share more insights in other blog posts.
For now, let me know…
Have you ever faced a situation where your fears or societal expectations conflicted with your desire to support someone’s courage?
If you have a Gen Z child or children, how are you handling their desire to be part of the wind of change that is sweeping our country? And how did you fare if your children attended the demonstrations?
Let’s have a conversation about this. So please share your thoughts or experiences in the Comments below.
Are you struggling to lead in this era of constant change?
Life is no longer the same if you lead a team that has Gen Zs and Millennials or if you’re a leader and have children who are Gen Z and/or Millennials.
It’s also not easy to let go of your beliefs and habits or change your leadership or parenting style. Yet, we are living at a time when shifting and pivoting fast are necessary skills at home and in the workplace.
Here are some ways I can help you navigate and thrive as a leader and parent during this time and in any time of crisis.
1. Sign up for The Clarity Blueprint which is a FREE 5-day email course
In this email course, I share the 5 biggest mistakes high-achieving women make while pursuing success. These mistakes will keep you stuck and erode your confidence.
I also share simple fixes to get unstuck and find clarity even if you have already made some of these mistakes.
Click here to get access to The Clarity Blueprint.
2. Join my Community
The journey up the success ladder can be lonely. But you don’t have to go it alone. Get community, support and accountability from like-minded women in Nawiri Mastermind.
We have different activities that allow us to connect and grow together including:
- Monthly Learning Wednesday webinars where experts come to teach us personal, professional, and financial growth strategies.
- Monthly virtual meetups where members connect and share experiences as we implement what we’re learning in the monthly class.
- Quarterly half-day meetups in Nairobi for additional learning and connection.
- Mastermind groups for Solopreneurs, women who are growing their businesses while still in fulltime employment, and professional women at management level.
- An annual 3-day retreat in November to learn, connect, evaluate, celebrate milestones, and plan for the next year.
- Discounts for coaching programs and other services by New Dawn Coaching.
Email me to get more info when Nawiri opens for new members.
3. Sign up for the Break Free, Live Your Life Coaching Program
Do you long for a life where your achievements are not just success stories but also reflections of your true passions? Are you eager to let go of negative beliefs and habits, and embrace a future filled with purpose, fulfillment, and unwavering confidence?
Break Free, Live Your Life is for you if you’re ready to make these changes.
This is a 15-week transformational life coaching program for successful women who who feel stuck and unfulfilled.
It’s also for you if you’ve been wondering how to align with your Purpose and find greater meaning in life.
Through this transformative journey, you will:
- Get deep insights into your life’s purpose, values, and goals.
- Identify and align what matters most to you with your goals.
- Craft a clear, actionable plan that aligns your life and work with your newfound clarity.
- Start implementing your action plan within the program.
- Identify and let go of beliefs and habits that work against your overall wellness and happiness.
- Get unstuck, gain confidence, and boldly move to your next level.
You’ll also find support, guidance, and a community of like-minded women. This is an invaluable bonus as you work on your growth.
Break Free is also available on a 1-1 basis where the program is tailor-made for you. This option lasts 5-months and is ideal if you’re a leader because you learn how to coach your team instead of managing them.
Click here to book a Discovery Call to find out more about the Break Free program.
(Image credit: Pexels)
