One Saturday morning, I woke up feeling totally exhausted. It reminded me of a quote by Nayyirah Waheed which says, “All the women in me are tired.”
This quote had come up previously in some women’s groups I was in and we discussed the implications it had in our lives.
Women, and especially mothers, carry a lot. This is even worse for single mums who have a small or non-existent support system and they run themselves ragged trying to make ends meet.
I had been feeling a bone-deep tiredness that week and on Saturday, it reached a peak when I woke up feeling tired of everything.
- The Coach in me was tired.
- The business owner in me was tired.
- The employer in me was tired.
- The marketer in me was tired.
- The mum in me was tired.
- The friend in me was tired.
- The daughter in me was tired.
- The sister in me was tired.
All the women in me that I haven’t mentioned above were also tired!
It wasn’t a depressive tiredness. It was just a deep sense of exhaustion and overwhelm that was sapping my motivation, energy, and strength.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t take a holiday because there’s too much going on that needs my attention. I also had responsibilities that needed addressing. It felt as if everything fell on my shoulders.
But what I could do (and did) was to unplug during the weekend and slow down during the week.
The Lesson and Strategy
Just acknowledging that I was tired and accepting that there was little I could do about it in that moment was a relief.
Normally, I would have allowed this feeling to fester and take over. I’d probably have lost my cool if someone crossed my path. This time, I didn’t. I gave myself the gift of allowing the feeling to make itself known without judging it.
I also gave myself a condition: That I would not allow my negative feeling to spill over to others, especially my children.
There was a moment when I wanted to shout at my then 22-year old son and I held back and just told him that “All the women in me are tired.” and shared the quote with him. He found the quote interesting enough to want to discuss it with his friends…
I also allowed myself to start that day late and listened to my mind and body all day so that I could slow down when need be. So I got some work done…slowly and less than I’d have wanted, but in a way that was not going to break me.
By allowing myself to feel this feeling, I gave myself a sense of respect and self-love. I also showed myself that I can handle a bad day without vomiting it all over other people.
That was a huge milestone!
Beyond my personal self-care, I shared what I was feeling with 2 friends who listened without judging or trying to give me solutions. I didn’t know how much I needed that!
Workwise, I had an awesome meeting with my LinkedIn branding strategist. I’m sure my earlier negative mood would not have produced such a positive result.
The best thing is that the day ended with love, conversation, and some tasty shawarma bought by my boys. Despite the tough start to the day, I managed to spend time in one of my happy places – the kitchen – and cooked pilau (a Swahili delicacy).
Moving Forward…
I still had decisions to make and actions to take. I simply chose to put that on the back burner over the weekend. So I unplugged fully from work and rested all day Sunday, and then picked up the to-do list on Tuesday.
That’s a formula I now continue to use among other strategies such as The Peace Process which helps you work through feelings and emotions in a short time. This is one of strategies that I practice and also teach in the Break Free, Live Your Life coaching program.
Getting back to you…
Have you ever had days when all the women in you were tired? How do you handle such days?
Share your tips and strategies in the Comments below. You might just help another woman handle her tired days better.
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